Pizza, Pizza, PIZZA!!

As I'm walking to my truck. I spot a shopping cart right there in the middle of the grave yard I stopped and thought about it. Actually I had a mental war with myself. 

"Why is there a shopping cart in the grave yard?" 

"Maybe the storm carried it there from the other side of the street..." 

"That can't be it, it standing up right."

"Am I crazy is it really there? I might just be tripping." 

"Okay I can't be spazzing the wind just made it move"

After I finally stopped doubting it was there I still couldn't figure out why the hell a shopping cart was in a graveyard. 

Then it dawned on me. The homeless guy probably left it there. I just gave that a little too much thought. 

I finally made it to my truck, I climbed in looked in the mirror and saw that my once beautifully pressed hair is now a mass of waves and curles. The humidity has killed my long tresses. It looks like a lions mane now. 

I had about two hours before I had to be at work, so I went to this Arab restaurant called Arab Palace. I went in ordered my food from the sweet old lady. Ate my food then left. 

I got to work thirty minutes early. What I saw when I walked in was everything but normal. Jimmy the comedian was standing on the bar telling jokes. All I could do was laugh not because of what he was saying but he looked hilarious standing up there. 

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night

It was raining so hard I was beyond pissed. That damn shower was still leaking. Damn can't this man get anything right? I went down there 2 days ago,and asked very nicely for him to fix this mans shower. Then he decided he wanted to be belligerent. That nice girl shit went out the window immediately. My first question was what the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid ? Are you not comprehending what I'm asking you??? Well understand this, if you don't get that damn shower fixed immediately you will be getting a visit from my lawyer. I don't cause you any problems usually but right now I've reached the highest level of being pissed off. FIX THE DAMN SHOWER! Well it's two days later and once again I'm sitting here watch water drip from my ceiling on to my fucking carpet. I'm supposed to be getting ready for work, why can't I just have a normal apartment? Oh well I'll deal with this later. I work at the local strip club "Strip Her". I know you're probably thinking omg she's a stripper she's a whore. Let me tell you now that's not the case. I didn't plan to be a stripper, I kind of just fell into this. When I was 14 my step dad shot my mom in the middle of her forehead right in front of me. I watched the bullet go in the front and come out the back. The blood splattered all over my face. Before I could move he turned the gun on himself and blew his brains out. It was brain matter all over the wall and floor. Every since then I've been on my own. I became numb to the world. I still went to school like a normal kid almost. While my friends were going home to their moms and dad's and in some cases just mom or dad. I was going to a shelter all alone. Well I got through high school with a 4.0. I was offered so many scholarships. I just didn't take them. Instead I moved in with my boyfriend and became a secretary at law firm. Well my boyfriend was arested and I was on my own again. I met a girl named Erica Van she took me to a strip club and I was fascinated by all the money the strippers were gettig including her. She told me on a slow night she makes at least $5,000. I immediately quit my job at the firm and became a stripper. I was 19 then 4 years later I'm still stripping, but here's the difference I'm a senior in college majoring in psychology. Maintaining a 3.8 GPA. I have big plans that exceed the strip club. I'm going to be someone outside of Bambi the stripper. Now don't get me wrong stripping is fun for me, and the money makes it 20 times better. It's gotten me through college and I take care of myself, and have all the things in life I could ever ask for. 

Bambi

The day started off with me rolling over the side of my bed, and falling on the floor with a loud thud. I wasn't quite sure why I was laying in a puddle of liquid immediate thought did I just pee on myself??? Oh gosh I'm 23 years old I can not being having an accident. Then I zoomed in on a big wet spot on the ceiling. I live in apartment 77 on the 13th floor. There's a guy named Richard Nap who loves in 87 directly above me. The poor guy has been complaining to our building manager for the past 3 months about his shower leaking. He said pieces of it is starting to break off. You're wondering why I know this, right? Well the other day I coming out my apartment and Richard was limping down the hall to the elavator because it doesn't go to the 14th floor. I stopped him and asked "why are you limping are you okay" he wasn't too thrilled he said "that damn shower cut my foot open. I'm going down to the managers office to give him a piece of my mind. Dirty bastard" that was 4 days ago I guess him giving the manager a piece of his mind didn't get him anywhere because now I'm laying on my beautiful plush carpet that's soaked in water. Now I'm mad! This is ridiculous. I struggled to get off the floor, but I eventually pulled my self up, snatched my robe off the ottoman, slipped on my fuzzy bunnies, and stormed to the elevator. Today our "friendly" building manager was going to fix that stupid ass shower or I was going to give him more then a piece of my mind. My carpet cost $7,000 it does not deserve to be destroyed by a leaking shower. I pay a little too much rent to be treated like this. Call me what you want a brat, a bitch, a pest it doesn't matter this is unacceptable.